System Management Center

It seems silly to hate a word. Words are, after all, only symbols for the meanings they convey. Of, course, it also seems silly to hate the meanings behind words; meanings and ideas only serve to make our lives richer. That said, there are a few words which have gained a stranglehold in contemporary corporate language, and I am fast learning to hate them all.

Any Place

Manage. System. Center. You can't seem to take two steps in the corporate world without tripping over one or more of these words. The word center, in particular, has gotten incredible mileage. I can't help it. I see "center" and wonder: center of what?

There was a time (I think) when "center" was a place that was of great importance (central!) to the accomplishment of some activity. Gradually the term has been watered down to the point where it really just means "place". If you don't believe me, just look at all the gymnasiums and ballparks that are being called "fitness centers and "rec centers".

A Collection of One

I suppose one could define "system" as an entity comprised of a number of coordinated parts. The definition is nothing if not vague, and it has inspired a whole host of rubber bands, vaccuum cleaners and canned protein shakes advertised as "exercise systems", "cleaning systems", and "weight-loss systems". In my opinion, if your exercise system consists of a large rubber band (or a giant net, or a plastic step) and an instruction book, it is not a system.

The Worst Offender

Center and system are badly overused, but the most ubiquitous and abused word on corporate lips is manage, and all its derivatives.

Traditionally, a manager has been an individual, entrusted with extraordinary responsibility, and empowered to make decisions on behalf of others. Here too, the definition is vague enough that when computers came along, many of the operations and tasks requiring special priviliges were labeled managerial (or administrative).

Now, it seems, any application or device that creates, edits, deletes, and generally organizes anything is called a maganger. Can't we just call it a download monitor? A photo organizer? Perhaps even a bookmark tracker? It seems highly unlikely. In the meantime I think I'll go fiddle around in the System Management Center.